Can Purell be used as lube?
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
