If i come over, it means nothing
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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