every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
