You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
