Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
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