I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
