and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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