it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize
