well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
We talked him into tasing himself.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
