Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
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