No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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