possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
They are going to name an STD after you.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
