last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
