she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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