The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
