why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize