Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Randomize