So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Randomize
