Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
