We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize