Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize