Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
