Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
