Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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