bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
