there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Randomize
