if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
