you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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