he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Randomize
