how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Randomize