Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
