If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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