areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Randomize
