lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
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