i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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