We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
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