i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
