remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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