i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
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