Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
only you would photoshop your dick
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
we're so committed to being not committed
Randomize
