2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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