Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
You need a sexual gate keeper
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
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