Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Randomize