Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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