I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
