Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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