Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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