Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
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