OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
