Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
