I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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