Will you blow on my dice?
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
