Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
