Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
