Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
