I hate your face
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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