sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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