But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Randomize
