i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Randomize
