I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
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