i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
Randomize
